Alex and Annie emerged victorious 11-9 over Rob and Anne at the Wyckoff Courts Saturday Morning Hangover Showdown, in what witnesses described as "a masterclass in not closing" from the losing side. The match featured all the dramatic tension of a Netflix series that should've ended two seasons ago.

Rob and Anne built what seemed like a comfortable lead in the early going, prompting spectators to briefly consider leaving for brunch. "We had them right where we wanted them," Rob said afterward, apparently unaware that 'where we wanted them' translated to 'still on the court with paddles in their hands.' The duo's strategy of playing well until it mattered most proved innovative if ultimately unsuccessful.

Alex, displaying the kind of left-handed wizardry that makes right-handed players question their life choices, orchestrated the comeback with Annie. The pair chipped away at the deficit with the relentless patience of someone explaining pickleball rules to their parents for the seventh time. "We just stayed calm," Annie noted, which in pickleball terms means 'we waited for them to panic.'

The final points saw Rob and Anne tighten up like a new jar of pickles, their earlier confidence evaporating faster than Saturday morning commitment to healthy choices. At 9-9, the tension was so thick you could dink through it. Alex sealed the victory with a shot that Anne described as "annoyingly good" and Rob called "typical left-handed nonsense."

The Hangover Showdown lived up to its name, as both teams appeared to be operating on varying levels of regret and dehydration. "At least we're consistent," Rob said of another close loss, demonstrating the kind of glass-half-empty optimism that would make Monday proud.

Alex and Annie advance with their 11-9 win, while Rob and Anne add another near-miss to their growing collection of almosts.