David defeated Mark 11-6 in skinny singles Tuesday at Dropshot Pickleball, capping off what witnesses are calling "either excellent coaching or psychological warfare."

The victory came immediately after a full hour of drilling focused exclusively on dinking-a shot requiring players to bend their knees approximately 847 times per session while maintaining a crouched position that physiotherapists describe as "inadvisable for anyone born before 1995."

"It was a really productive practice," David said, his quadriceps somehow still functional. "Mark's soft game improved tremendously. We must have done 200 dink rallies. Maybe 300. I lost count around the time his legs started shaking."

Mark, reached for comment while applying ice packs to both thighs, expressed suspicions about the drill selection. "Funny how we spent zero time on serves or overheads," he noted. "Just an hour of squatting and lunging. Then suddenly David's ready to play a match. What a coincidence."

Court observers noted that David appeared "suspiciously fresh" during the subsequent skinny singles game, moving laterally with the ease of someone who hadn't just spent 60 minutes testing the tensile strength of his hip flexors.

"The thing about coaching," explained one anonymous pro, "is you can demonstrate the shot without actually grinding your legs into dust. You can just kind of…gesture. David chose full intensity. Make of that what you will."

When asked if the drilling choices were strategically designed to pre-exhaust his opponent, David smiled. "I'm just trying to help Mark improve his weaknesses," he said. "And clearly his endurance needs work."

Mark has reportedly requested that their next session focus exclusively on overhead smashes while David holds a medicine ball.