Rob and Anne squeaked out an 11-9 victory over Alex and Annie at the Saturday Morning Hangover Showdown, though calling it a team effort would be generous. Rob spent most of the match just trying to remember which hand he was holding the paddle with.

The whole situation started a week earlier when Tommy Sweeney's poach forehand introduced Rob's right thumb to a whole new world of pain. So there's Rob, a right-handed guy, suddenly playing lefty pickleball. It's like watching someone try to write a check at the grocery store. Remember those people? They'd hold up the entire line, fumbling with a pen like it was alien technology.

Down 5-0 to start, Rob was celebrating every time he managed three consecutive shots over the net. Three! That's his new standard for excellence. Meanwhile, Anne is doing the pickleball equivalent of carrying groceries up four flights of stairs while her partner holds the car keys.

Alex, the mad Ukrainian, was spinning and lobbing everything like he's auditioning for Cirque du Soleil. And Annie? Just giggling. The whole time. Giggling! You know what that does to your opponent? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But it's happening.

As the sun turned the Wyckoff Courts into a convection oven, Rob's left hand apparently started receiving signals from his brain. They mounted a comeback that fell just short of complete. "I hit the ball over the net three times in a row," Rob said afterward, still marveling at his achievement. "That's basically like being ambidextrous, right?"

Anne, when asked about carrying her partner, simply smiled and said, "Someone had to show up with two functional hands."

The Saturday Morning Hangover Showdown lived up to its name. Everyone looked like they'd rather be horizontal, but there they were, vertical and swinging at a plastic ball with holes in it. This is what we do for fun now.