OP and his wife secured an 11-7 victory over Marge and her partner Tuesday evening in what witnesses described as "a recreational pickleball game that somehow became a referendum on everyone's self-worth."

The 75-year-old Marge, whose competitive fire apparently burns hotter than her ability to maintain functional partnerships, spent the majority of the match verbally dismantling her own teammate before pivoting to a bold new strategy: subtle marital commentary directed at the winning couple.

"At least he's a better player than his wife," Marge muttered after dropping yet another point, apparently believing that whispering insults about someone standing twelve feet away constitutes psychological warfare rather than just audible bitterness.

Sources confirm Marge had effectively quit on the game by the midpoint, though she remained physically present on the court-a distinction her partner surely appreciated while scrambling to cover seventy percent of their side alone.

"I've seen a lot of competitive spirits in my time," said one courtside observer, "but rarely one that manifests as friendly fire followed by attacking the opponents' relationship dynamic. It's almost impressive."

OP's wife, when informed of Marge's assessment of her skills relative to her husband's, reportedly shrugged and noted that her 11-7 winning record today spoke louder than whatever Marge was mumbling between unforced errors.

Marge's partner declined to comment, though sources say he's already updated his availability on the club's partner-matching app to "literally anyone else."

The victory moves OP and his wife to 1-0 in games where elderly opponents provide running commentary on their marriage, a statistic that didn't exist before today but apparently needed tracking.