Emily and Julie dispatched Katie and Sarah 11-3 on Thursday evening at Pints & Paddles during Queen of the Court, a victory made considerably easier by Katie's unwavering commitment to a shot she has never successfully executed.

Witnesses report Katie attempted an Erne-pickleball's most photogenic and least necessary maneuver-during nearly every rally of the match, landing exactly zero while her opponents scored with the radical strategy of "hitting the ball where people aren't."

"I respect the dedication to failure," said Julie, who recorded four winners simply by standing in the spot Katie kept vacating. "Most people adjust after the eighth or ninth unsuccessful attempt. Katie saw that as quitter talk."

The Erne, which requires players to leap around the kitchen and volley mid-air like a caffeinated heron, demands precise timing, athletic ability, and-according to sources-at least one successful practice attempt before deploying it eleven times in competitive play.

"I was this close every time," Katie insisted afterward, holding her fingers approximately the distance between Earth and the International Space Station apart. "The geometry was sound. Physics just wasn't cooperating."

Sarah, Katie's partner and involuntary spectator to the aerial exhibition, spent most of the match covering two-thirds of the court while Katie launched herself sideways. "I got a great workout," Sarah noted diplomatically, the way hostages praise their captors' interior decorating choices.

Emily confirmed the duo's defensive strategy consisted primarily of "waiting for Katie to leave her side of the court, then hitting it there."

At press time, Katie was reviewing YouTube tutorials for the Bert-an even more complicated aerial shot she plans to debut next week.