Percy G.’s 1987 Headband Still Works, He Tells Us, Right Up Until the Net Cord

Marigold Park — I am so proud of all four of them I could pop a button off my cardigan. Every one of them came to Marigold Park, held their paddles the right way round, and helped raise $1,140 for the library’s new large-print section. Now, my editor says I have to tell you who won, so here it is, gently: Nikhil D. and Oona F. won the final 2 games to 1 over Percy G. and Rosalind H., 11–⁠7, 6–⁠11, 11–⁠9. I’m told that’s how winning works.

Nikhil and Oona took the first game 11–⁠7. Percy wore a headband from 1987 that he insists still works. I don’t know exactly what a headband is meant to do, but it kept every bit of sweat out of his eyes, which was lovely, because it meant he could see each of his returns land out very clearly.

Then Percy and Rosalind came roaring back to win the second game 11–⁠6, and my goodness, didn’t they. Rosalind’s grandchildren held up a sign that said GO GRANDMA, upside down, for the entire match. Rosalind played as if it were the right way up, which I call grace under pressure.

It reminded me of my Harold, who once hung our anniversary banner upside down for three whole days and swore he’d done it on purpose for the neighbors driving past. He went to his grave insisting it was a design choice. I loved that man, and I don’t believe a word of it.

The third game was a nail-biter, 11–⁠9, and it ended on a mishit from Nikhil and Oona that clipped the net cord and simply fell over dead on the other side. They celebrated as though they’d planned it all along, which is a wonderful quality in anybody. Percy says the headband was working perfectly until the net cord got involved.

Percy and Rosalind, you scored nine whole points in that last game, only two shy of winning, which I’m told is practically a victory if you squint. I’ve made lemon bars. Nikhil and Oona, you may have one too, but please chew slowly and remember the net did some of the work.

So proud of you all. There’s pie in the car.