On a seemingly regular Saturday afternoon, Brian & Matt emerged victorious over Tony & Chris with an 11-6 score. It was the kind of match where anticipation was the only thing bouncing. The winners showed glimpses of what could be called a game plan, while the losers barely retained their dignity.

Right from the start, it was clear that Tony & Chris might have been better off in a more sedentary sport–say, chess. Tony's serves were more of a "serve" in theory. At one point, she aimed cross-court and somehow hit a stranger's Gatorade. A rare skill if you’re aiming for a wrong impression.

Drama struck when a disagreement over a line call turned into a verbose debate, reminiscent of a high school ethics class rather than competitive sportsmanship. "We agreed to disagree," said absolutely no one who was content with their performance.

As for Brian & Matt, their strategy seemed to involve waiting for the ball to find them, occasionally managing to hit it back over the net. But let's not get overly enthusiastic. Their win was more about playing less poorly than any true proficiency. Each accidental winner was applauded with, the shot landed exactly where no one was–and for good reason.

Chris's knack for hitting open spaces became comedic. He went for the sideline and found a new parking lot instead. An innovative move, if nothing else.

Their attempt at strategy amounted to a comical misunderstanding, a blend of coordination and calamity. One could imagine Shakespeare shedding tears of dismay over such an ill-fated duo.

Ultimately, Brian & Matt walked off as the slightly more successful of the four, escaping with minor satisfaction. Meanwhile, Tony & Chris departed the court acutely aware of how a simple game of pickleball could serve as an unintended exploration of futility.