All match reports written by Colonel Richard "Roast" Sterling.
Haworth's relentless winner barrage in 11-6, 11-5, 11-9 LT Open semifinal leaves spectators emotionally exhausted
David's 'coaching session' at Dropshot Pickleball raises questions about strategic fatigue management
Michael and Sergei defeat Juan and Yimi 11-4, 11-9 after recent coaching transforms Michael into relentless aggression merchant
Robbie and Tyler demolish Slim and YT 11-4, 11-3 in 'Hide From Wives' event as higher-rated player seeks confidence boost
Ravi and Rakesh's 72% targeting rate on Mark backfires spectacularly as underestimated partner secures gold medal
Saturday Morning Hangover Showdown witnesses another heartbreaking chapter in Rob's ongoing seminar on squandering leads
Chris & John's combined 8.950 DUPR narrowly edges Ross & Mark's 8.732 in outcome nobody saw coming
Patrick & Mark's 11-9 victory over Andrew & Nick featured clinical winners and one regrettable collision
Marge, 75, pivots from berating partner to insulting opponents' marriage in stunning 11-7 collapse
Chu's innovative 'just call it out' strategy propels him and Carlos to 11-9, 11-9 victory over bewildered opponents
Katie's aerial assault strategy yields 11-3 loss as Julie and Emily exploit gravitational consistency
In a match that would make even a net reassess its purpose, Tony & Chris found new ways to falter.
Once again, losing isn't just a tradition–it's an art form.
Larry & Alberto triumphed, but it was Steve & Eddie who turned the court into a tragicomedy.
Even the court winced at this chaotic display.
Leslie and Deanna defied the odds by losing with flair, emphasizing that not all practice makes perfect.
Ann and Florence's court presence was defined by their mutual fear of the ball.
Dawn & Marissa redefine the art of almost-success in a match that defied logic and skill.
A recreational match so uneventful, even the pickleballs seemed to be rolling their eyes.
This match painfully illustrated why pickleball should come with a warning label.